Junctures
by bforbrigitta
Summary: Growing up didn't have to mean growing apart. Ryuki.
1. Milestones

_Ruki questions the course of her adulthood, and learns that growing up doesn't have to mean growing apart._

* * *

 **Junctures**

 _Chapter I  
"Milestones"_

"…Happy birthday, pumpkin."

A hardy thumb grazed her cheekbone, stirring her. Bleary pools of lilac smiled back. "Hi…"

Ruki Makino's sleepy face and fiery red locks that reached just past her shoulders, whimsically lit by the morning light flitting through the blinds, were striking against the white of their tangled sheets. Ryo Akiyama cracked a smile at his sleep-laden wife and the hand that idly ruffled at his russet locks. Rumiko's persistent nagging about the empty state of her daughter's womb be damned, a year of wedded bliss later and waking up like this was still what made it all worth it.

And now she was another year older—didn't sound too bad. What was another year, right? Sure, her consciousness of their ticking mortality aside, the last twenty-nine were almost just a blur now.

"So… Thirty, huh, babe?"

"Thirty," she repeats.

Thirty. _Shit._

* * *

She emerged from the bathroom later that afternoon shrouded in the steam escaping out the open door clad in just a towel, their modest apartment leaving little room for neither much movement nor decency. Ryo's faded child-star status, the relocation to an expensive capital city and his somewhat-undervalued niche as an author hadn't exactly left much money to split a decent deposit. Among the usual qualms of moving in with a snarky girlfriend, Ruki's existing socioeconomic status was the most nerve-wracking of all—their little one bedder not exactly _comparable_ to her family's impressive estate.

Despite that, there were the obvious perks; she liked the way she could chit-chat with him from the TV set while he was cooking, or read on the couch while he sang in the shower for background noise. _He_ liked the way she would trail off when that dog rescue commercial came up, for the moment deciding not to disrupt the uncharacteristic gentleness with a smartass comment and watching her softening features through the steam erupting from the saucepan instead. It was a far cry from the way it was at her family home, where her grandma would call her name with no reply, her voice disappearing into the vast empty spaces scarcely occupied by its few inhabitants.

All in all, Ruki loved their shoebox home, even if the thin walls did mean they'd have to be a little quieter. Her deadly sarcasm had no urgency for volume anyway.

Ryo sat at the dining table sorting through their mail, flippantly discarding any brochures that came with unless resembling pizza coupons. Even trifling through mail, he looked the very epitome of the male specimen, with his neatly tousled hair and a ribbed grey sweater hugging broad shoulders. He donned glasses when he was required to read nowadays, his entire career spent behind a computer screen now beginning to catch up with both him and his ripe age of thirty-four.

"So I was thinking," Ryo began, curiously cautious, as he opened the last of their mail, "for dinner tonight, that we should invite Kazu."

The name caught her attention. Dinner used to refer to the booze-fest that was once held every week on rotation, now relegated to a once-annual pleasantry if involving the whole lot of them. Somewhere along the way, Henry and Hirokazu had had a falling out that'd been a turning point in their friendship group. They mostly went their separate ways then; Takato and Juri would occasionally drop by with their daughter if she wasn't keeping them thoroughly occupied, as would Kenta during his visits back home from the US where his lab-work was now based.

Henry, however, avoided their apartment building like the plague upon hearing that Kazu had moved in down the hall from the Makino-Akiyamas. They'd go for coffee dates or picnics at the park with his family instead. He'd then quietly excuse himself before conversation veered too close, too specifically, to those particular events that had unfolded eight years ago. Everyone was living quiet lives, devoid of conflict, scandal… and meaningful companionship.

Ruki took it the hardest. Friends didn't come easy for her, and she wasn't quite sure if loneliness was something she would ever outgrow.

Ryo had been instrumental in making sure that everybody kept in touch however, even if it was just with them and not necessarily with each other. They hoped that Kazu would want to reach out too, but even after becoming their jolly neighbour, he tended to keep his distance from the others. Inviting him wouldn't be a _terrible_ idea though. They could be civil for one night, right?

"Look… I know you're trying to get everybody back together for my birthday. And it's… You know. Thanks." He offered a smile in return. "But you're risking a lot of shit hitting the fan if you invite _both_ of them tonight. As much fun as it sounds to join a brawl on my birthday, believe it or not, the others would _probably_ mind. That's on you, Akiyama."

" _No_ , that's on _them_. Grown adults, responsibilities and consequences for own actions, all that, remember?"

She groaned, significantly more annoyed than she was a moment ago. "Look, I'm _thirty_ today. Just let my transition into unaccomplished loserhood at _least_ be in _peace_ ," she spat.

Ryo opened his mouth to reply by reflex, but abruptly stopped in confusion with a cock of his head and an audible _huh?_ Ruki didn't elaborate, plopping back onto the sofa instead. She grabbed her phone to look for a distraction and settled on scrolling mindlessly through her news feed, only to land on a recent post of a certain bespectacled friend.

 _'Just landed upon the most amazing valley while scouting locations to set up our temporary lab here in Somoto! Something tells me Nicaragua will be good to us! :)'_

Kenta Kitagawa, chronically under-appreciated and unlucky in love, now dwarfed a large majority of his peers with his bounty of achievements. He'd joined a distinguished research team to combat Chagas disease in Central America some years back, and never failed to visit home every year loaded with expensive souvenirs for his estranged friends. Even resident cool-cat Ryo was intimidated by his success.

She was happy for him, she really was, but his damned head in front of that beautiful valley had really rubbed her the wrong way. She huffed her aggravation and tossed a defiant foot onto the coffee table. Ryo usually knew what to do—Ruki was an angry girl by nature—but the sass never used to come with this aura of defeat.

He decided empathy would be his leverage. "…I get it, pumpkin," he said, eyes brimming with compassion, "My book wasn't even translated into English 'til I was thirty-one."

" _God_." Discarding her phone, she snatched a magazine from the end table and aggressively jerked it open to obscure her face. _His_ dumb head was starting to grate on her too.

Ryo, still confused, didn't even know what he did wrong.

* * *

"…Hey, do you guys have a hairdryer I could borrow, I need to—woah, hel- _lo_ Ruki! That's a birthday suit in _deed_!"

Hirokazu Shiota, with his head poking through the door, couldn't stop himself from shamelessly gawking at the towel-clad redhead on the sofa, her towel covering _just_ enough to reveal the full length of her creamy legs.

Ruki, now accidentally immersed in the magazine article she had randomly opened up to in her strife, peered at him from behind the magazine. "Oh fantastic. Could you _not_ just let yourself in whenever you pleased?" She rolled her eyes and put the magazine down before disappearing into the bathroom, muttering something about pervy neighbours and lease terminations.

"I told you that spare key was for emergencies _only_ , dude, not so you could barge in for a hairdryer every time you watch a hair tutorial on _YouTube_."

"I'm _sorry_ but I've got a date with this _really hot_ girl I met at work and I've got to up my _game_." His hand did a little glide through the air as he said ' _game_ '. "Not everyone can look like they just walked out of a catalogue, Mr. Square Jaw. Some of us need to put in some effort, you know."

Ryo ignored the comment. 'Really hot girl' usually equated to 'girl with standards miraculously willing to accommodate Kazu' or 'girl, are you sick?' "In the bathroom, first draw on your left. Help yourself, but please, _after_ my wife puts her clothes on, okay?"

Kazu leaned casually on the doorframe, his hair just brushing the top of it. His shoulders broader, tapering into a slim figure, and form much taller, he now towered over most even without the aid of his signature tall hair. "Okie dokie," he obeyed, a smirk wide across his face.

"And no fantasising!"

His hands shot up in defense. "Okay, okay!"

As Kazu waited for Ruki to dress, Ryo took the opportunity to ask him about the _other_ pressing matter.

"Hey, Kazu… That date wouldn't happen to be tonight, would it?"

"Nah, Monday. Why?" Kazu read Ryo's hesitation and knew right away. He took a deep breath, and exhaled in a sigh. "Look… I've told you guys… I'm just—I'll take you guys out tomorrow night like I always do. Ain't that enough?"

"It's not just that though, it's—" Ryo's voice died down to a whisper, gesturing to the closed bathroom door. "—She's taking the whole 'turning thirty' thing a little hard. Can't you just be there for her?"

"You think I can't hear you?" Ryo and Kazu both turned to face the now-clothed Ruki, her eyes narrowed at her spouse. "It's _not_ about me. It's Henry."

Kazu's lack of protest authorised her to continue.

"He's getting divorced."

Silence.

"And he's losing his son," she added quietly.

Ryo shot her a disapproving look at the slipped detail. Kazu stayed silent, an occasion rare enough to note. They watched warily for his next words.

"…Good."

Despite already knowing how petty it made him seem, confirmed by his best friends' evident disappointment, it was all Kazu could muster. Ryo almost made a move to object—this wasn't the Kazu that they knew to love. Despite the beloved pastime of taunting his many comical downfalls, he was a gentler soul than all of them combined. Albeit quietly, he and Ruki had that in common, and it was that which made their bond so strong.

"I'll think about it, okay?" He quickly said, before the guilt had a chance to set in. "But I'm letting you guys know that it's probably a no."

That was good enough for now. "Ruki'll kick your ass if you don't."

"Well," Hirokazu snickered, "We're all used to _those_ threats by now," he said, eliciting in a hearty laugh from his buddy.

Lilac eyes rolled. "Hilarious."

He let himself into the bathroom to take the hairdryer, but as he came out they invited him to join their Saturday laze-about instead. Gladly taking up their offer, Kazu flopped onto their sofa as Ryo made another joke at Ruki's expense (and revolt), and he momentarily thought back to a time many years ago. He may not have been the same guy that used to smoke behind the gym while rattling off about the girls in his class, but he was sure that the blue-haired pal that used to accompany him in a panic about getting caught would still be the stand-up guy he'd always been.

Hirokazu quickly chastised himself for the thought—whoever he _thought_ Henry was, nothing had changed the fact that Kazu was betrayed in the most spectacular and embarrassing of ways at his hands. He wasn't about to forgive him, even if there suddenly _was_ something at the back of his mind that nagged at him constantly.

He checked his watch, then kicked himself for even considering going to the dinner. As much as Kazu _begged_ for the divorce to feel like sweet victory, he just wasn't that kind of guy. He wasn't Henry, and he was going to prove it.

* * *

 _To be continued_


	2. Feuds and Far Between

_Ruki questions the course of her adulthood, and learns that growing up doesn't have to mean growing apart._

* * *

 **Junctures**

Chapter II  
 _"Feuds and Far Between"_

That night, thanks to Rumiko's well-intended 'surprise', Ruki found herself somewhere she hadn't thought she would see again past her formative years shadowing her mother. The contemporary chandeliers and unpronounceable menu items weren't really her thing—she was more of local pub kinda gal—but her _husband_ , sharing an affinity for the ritz and glitz with his extravagant mother-in-law, welcomed the gift.

"'Nother one, please. On the rocks."

Except for the generous liquor tab that Rumiko had opened for them, knowing _full well_ which one of them would be taking advantage.

"Ruki," he scolded, "That'll be your third one. No one's even arrived yet!"

"Hey, if tonight's gonna be a mess, I may as well be drunk for it," she drawled.

Her hair seemed redder than usual tonight, though he couldn't confirm whether that was because it was against the dark blue of her dress or because she was on edge. Ryo sighed, undoing the cuff buttons on his dress shirt to roll up the sleeves. He was happy with just the one glass of wine but he was suddenly in the mood for another; something told him it was going to be a long night.

"Surely _some_ of my optimism has rubbed off on you by now…"

The waitress returned to their table with a bottle of her favourite single malt, artfully pouring it into her glass. Ruki flashed her a courteous smile before she turned to him with a smirk. "Nope."

Ryo couldn't fight the urge to grin back. He wouldn't prefer her any other way.

"You guys!"

A beaming Takato and Juri weaved out from the neighbouring tables. Ryo and Ruki stood to welcome them, and they exchanged greetings and birthday wishes with warm hugs and well wishes, a particularly long and tight embrace between the girls.

"I've missed you, honey."

Ruki, eyes closed and relishing in the warmth, responded with a caress of Juri's chestnut hair. "Me too."

She then noticed something peculiar. Ruki pulled away, still keeping a hold on her best friend's hands, and looked down to discover the slight swell of Juri's stomach.

"You're… pregnant."

Juri giggled and looked to Takato, delightfully nodding his go-ahead. "Yeap! Three months."

"Wow!" Ryo chirped. "Congratulations, you guys!" He patted his buddy on the back, and as he tossed in the usual questions about due dates and potential baby names, Ruki rapidly felt her hands becoming hot. They sweltered, mirroring the sensation in her chest, as the gentle hands in her grasp suddenly felt prickly. Like they didn't fit.

"…Why didn't you tell me?"

Their smiles disappeared and Juri, at a loss for words, could only manage a timid shrug. Ruki released Juri's hands and returned to her seat, the others trailing behind her. Smooth jazz piano and background chatter filled in blank spaces. Some throat-clearing. Apologetic smiles exchanged.

Ruki guzzled the rest of her scotch, and immediately gestured to the waitress for another one through a grimace. Her throat burned, but she was starting not to feel it.

She wondered how many more it'd take for her to not feel anything.

"Ruki…" Ryo cautioned.

"What?" He signalled her to say something— _anything_ —to Juri. Apologising would've been ideal, though Ryo didn't count on his luck being _that_ good the first try. "I'm just saying, she told me when she was pregnant with Erika. I don't understand why this one would be such a big _goddamn secret_."

"I'm sorry, Juri, Ruki's just been a bit edgy about turning thirty and everything…"

" _Stop_ fucking telling people how I _feel_ , you wouldn't know anything about how I'm feeling—"

"—These are your best friends, it's not—"

Ruki cut in, "Well now I don't know anymore, do I?"

Juri took a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. She was taught to always take the high road. And, _God_ , Ruki gave her a lot of opportunities to practise. "Don't apologise," Juri assured, stopping the two mid squabble. "I should've told you. It's been kind of hectic, you know? I guess it just slipped my mind or something."

A sheepish smile followed, as did the clank of Ruki's glass on the table after taking another swig.

" _Slipped your mind?_ " Wide incredulous eyes pointed Juri's way. "Right. There's a foetus just casually growing in my uterus, but sometimes I forget! Silly me!" She mocked, her voice raising in pitch to emulate the other woman.

Takato cut in to plead pitifully, "Ladies, c'mon—"

"Shut up, Takato," she snapped, audibly beginning to slur.

"I think you've had enough now." Juri snatched the glass from Ruki's grip to her protest. She wasn't the eccentric teenager wearing those stripy knee-high socks anymore and she was _far_ past the age of being pushed around. Juri put on her best angry face. "You can have your drink back when you're done being a bitch."

Takato and Ryo could only alternate between nervous and frustrated glances as their wives withheld any further communication from each other. Ryo sensed that there was more going on than Ruki let on; something about her was almost… _vulnerable_. Right now though, he found a hard time sympathising with her all the same. His kudos went to Juri; she, better than all of them, could keep the redhead in line when even he couldn't.

"What's with the grim faces?"

They turned in their chairs to the source of the voice and—saved by the bell—it was Henry providing a welcome distraction with his arrival.

Henry made his way over to the table, at a slower pace to match the energy that he didn't quite have. Even as they piped their greetings, trying to inject a little more cheer than usual, under the expensive charcoal suit he donned it was still hard to ignore his unkempt hair and pale complexion.

"Henry, you…" He shot an inquisitive look to the substantially tipsy Ruki. "…look like _shit_ ," she slurred.

"Ruki!" Ryo cried, thoroughly facepalming, "I'm so sorry, she's had a bit to drink."

Despite Ruki's dubious methods and her rowdy protests to the accusation, in silent agreement they turned to him with their concerns clearly etched on their faces. Henry appeared gaunt and coarsely unshaven—a shadow of the prim and well-groomed man he was known to be—and his dark eye bags and sluggish movement telling of his sleepless nights.

Henry only contributed a feeble smile in response, probably in pitiful agreement.

When he sat, Ryo placed a reassuring hand on Henry's arm. "Hey, we're sorry about what happened with Alice."

"Thanks, guys," he said, glassy eyes not meeting theirs. Uneasy glances went around the table once more, and the air died into an uncomfortable silence.

"I, am, so sorry too," Ruki interjected, her words elongated. "But you know I had a feeling, I just _knew_ Alice would leave you too—"

"— _Jesus_ , Ruki,"

"Exactly how many have you had, Ruki?" Henry asked, unable to even express his disapproval (everything had a melancholy tinge to it nowadays). Sometimes, he'd find that he barely recognised himself in his own mirror. A thought at the back of his mind—perhaps his, perhaps the demons that haunted him—would suggest that maybe it was fitting that he be punished in this way. That maybe his situation was karma for stealing his best friend's girlfriend all those years ago.

He hadn't meant to. It was a complete lapse in judgement that just happened to lead to one thing and then another… Of course, Hirokazu didn't buy that. Punches were thrown alongside curses. A lot of yelling, some tears. But in the end the two became tired of fighting. They were never great at being at odds with each other, and though hard feelings still lingered, they almost resolved to put it behind them.

Until Alice found out she was pregnant.

Henry looked around the room as his friends dwelled in varying degrees of second hand embarrassment, attempting to tame the redhead in their own way. Even classy places like this had to deal with their fair share of drunken idiots, he thought. He sneered at the perfectly arranged centrepieces and at the elegant sommeliers standing by each table rearing and ready with seasonal foreign wines in hand. Henry was sure that Ruki hated places like this—she clearly wasn't comfortable here. Alice said that Rumiko's persistent imposing of her world on Ruki was damaging, or something like that. She always was so observant.

Henry caught himself off guard with that train of thought.

 _It's hard to breathe in here._

Ruki reached for her previously confiscated drink before Ryo took her arm to stop her, " _Gim_ me it!"

"Babe, I think you've had more than enough."

"Let _go_ of me, asshole, I'm _fine_!"

"Ru—"

Henry brusquely stood up, weak posture steadied by his hands on the table as he spoke. "Look, I don't know about you guys, but I came tonight to have a good time with my friends and just… try and forget about everything that's been going on."

"Henry—"

"So I'm leaving," he said curtly.

He shuffled to leave, quietly apologising to the sober three and intentionally avoiding Ruki's unfocused, bloodshot gaze.

"The fuck are you going!?" she yelled at his back. Nearby patrons began to gawk and whisper, and his steps sped up as much as he could manage. He needed to get out of there.

As Henry made his way to the elevator, Ruki's loud and slurring voice began to fade into the background. He shook his head in disbelief at the way the night had unfolded. How could she say that to him? Though he knew he wasn't great company right now, the next time he drove 45 minutes into the city, it wouldn't be for this shit.

And today of all days. Just when Alice had dropped a mother of a bombshell on him, that she would be moving _permanently_ , with _their_ son, to Ireland. To goddamn _Ireland!_ A horrible knot formed in the pit of his stomach, and his collar began to feel like it was choking him again. He reached up to loosen his tie, panting a little.

 _Think of something—anything—else._

With a _ding_ , the elevator door opened. He mentally mapped out his journey home and fantasised about the bottle of wine that awaited him. That would have to be his dinner tonight. It wouldn't be the first time.

Instead, he's stopped in his tracks by a familiar, and rather unwelcoming, face—that very one he'd been running from for nearly a decade.

Hirokazu, equally as stunned, could barely even hear Henry exhale his name. He'd rehearsed this encounter for the last several, excruciating hours. _He_ fantasised about just showing up drunk and giving him a piece of his mind—how he was a coward, a hypocrite, a shitty friend and an all-around _rotten_ human being for sleeping with his girl behind his back, then getting her pregnant and _marrying_ her of all things. That he couldn't _believe_ that the others could even look him in the eye after such an unforgiveable fuck up, that he knew they wouldn't offer him the same treatment if he'd done the same. Henry was the golden child, the _fucking_ _golden child_ , after all.

Eight years ago, he had hit him square in the face. This time though, despite the familiar blood boiling, the clenched fists, Kazu was ready to handle it like a grown up… Mostly anyway.

The doors slid closed. Kazu cleared his throat. "Hey."

Henry, still in disbelief, could only stare.

"I heard about Alice," he continued, still not receiving a response. "You could at least say something, asshole. I'm tryna be polite here. I just wanna say that—"

"And to think," Henry finally said, interrupting him completely, "that this night could not get any worse."

His eyes left Kazu's face as his frame brushed passed him and into the staircase nearby.

"…—I'm sorry to hear it," he finished, Henry no longer in earshot.

* * *

 _To be continued_


	3. Making Up Is Hard To Do

_Ruki questions the course of her adulthood, and learns that growing up doesn't have to mean growing apart._

* * *

 _ **Junctures**_

Chapter III  
 _"Making Up Is Hard To Do"_

Ruki so much as dragged herself toward the kitchenette, head pounding as she followed the sound of sizzling and the smell of salmon and steaming miso.

"Morning, pumpkin."

"…Mm," was the only thing her pulsing headache would allow her to say. "Time?" she asked, the word coming out much more like a groan.

"About eleven," he replied, flipping the salmon onto its other side.

"Okay." _Make some conversation, Makino. Hunching over the toilet bowl can't have been the only thing you did last night._ "So… Weird night."

"Yeap. Breakfast's nearly done."

His words were cool, too much so. "You're mad at me."

He didn't take his eyes off the salmon. "I am."

She let the sizzling sound drown out her attempt at remorse. It was too early, and the hangover was _not_ letting her thoughts get a word in. She sat and put her aching head down, exhibiting herself as a heap of arms and auburn tresses sprawled out over the dining table.

"Do you even remember what happened last night?"

"…Not really," she said, voice muffled under her hair and arms. "Was it a disaster?"

"No, it wasn't too bad." Ruki looked up, a little surprised. "I mean, at first it was a _catastrophe_ —no thanks to you, of course—but even after Henry left, Kazu got to reconnect with Takato and Juri. So we salvaged it, it's all good." He winked and she rolled her eyes with the little strength she had left in her body. "It was nice, you know. You, on the other hand, _not_ so nice."

"Alright, I get it," she mumbled. Ryo finished at the kitchenette and came to sit at the table with their breakfast—salmon, rice, miso soup and the odd boiled egg to share between the two of them. They said their mealtime rituals before digging in to eat. Ruki then quietly spoke up as she picked at her salmon after the first bite, not totally sure her hangover allowed for an appetite at that point.

"I could've handled that better," she admitted.

"You really could've."

She acknowledged the extra pieces of pickled radish on her plate. He knew she liked them. Even while he was mad at her.

"I'm sorry," she finally said. He caught her eyes wandering off, a touch of gloom accompanying them. "I'll call and apologise… As soon as I don't feel like throwing up."

"Look, it's okay… I mean you may have to beg a little from Juri and Henry," he joked, and Ruki startlingly reciprocated with a small, amused smile. "…But I think they'd understand." He took a bite, chewed, and carefully considered his next words before speaking up again. "Are you sure this wasn't about what you said yesterday? About being… unaccomplished."

The sad eyes returned and Ryo waited patiently for an explanation. He wasn't wrong, after all. She _wanted_ to tell him. She wanted to tell him how she felt like she'd achieved exactly nothing that she had planned to since leaving college, how Kenta was off _saving lives_ somewhere and all everyone could focus on was her biological ticking time bomb—how she wasn't even sure whether she or Ryo even _wanted_ kids and whether she wanted to see their reaction to that at all. All the words swirled around in her head but the only thing that came out was a sigh.

And again, no elaboration. He shook his head. "I wish you'd talk to me," he mumbled. When all he received was a glare, he dutifully changed the subject. Perhaps what she needed was her mind _off_ things.

"You know you put on quite the performance last night."

She looked up at him curiously, until the memory—however foggy—suddenly dawned on her. "We went to _karaoke_?"

"You were _dying_ to sing 'Blue Light Yokohama'. We were almost home and you made us turn the cab around. Cabbie got a free preview too."

"Oh God…" A hand flew to her face, completely embarrassed. "Wait, Blue Light Yokohama? I haven't sung that at karaoke since…"

"—your twenty-fifth!" "—my twenty-fifth!"

Their eyes met as they chorused in unison, and they couldn't help a smile thinking back to that night. In her early twenties, she'd purposely get trashed only because Ryo couldn't resist an opportunity to be the hero and babysit her—it was her principal method of flirting after all, Ruki wasn't one to bat her eyelashes—but the habit ended up sticking around even well after they started dating.

That night was no exception; Ryo had missed his overnight train back to Fukuoka to take care of his very drunk, very cranky then-long-distance girlfriend. But it was on his way to the train station the next morning, with a battered and exhausted redhead nestled against his torso, that he had decided to move to Tokyo.

It had been too many Sunday nights leaving her. Too many Sunday nights where Ruki's eyes would beg him to stay, but she'd kiss him goodbye anyway. He hated seeing her grow smaller on the platform where she watched his train speed away, until the morning after she turned twenty-five when she made a fist in his shirt and, for the first time, whispered those three little words so quietly he thought he'd mistaken what he'd heard. He never ended up making it onto that train.

Never mind that it was just another brash, cavalier thing he'd do to impress her but would end up becoming a logistical nightmare for him later.

Ruki groaned again, holding her throbbing head with her half-eaten breakfast effectively abandoned. Was getting wasted _always_ this lousy? Ruki made the obligatory note-to-self to 'never drink again' before reminding herself to go for her annual health check. If this wasn't a sign of her age catching up to her, she didn't know what was.

She made her resolve and grabbed her phone to locate Henry's name in her contact list. She hit the call button, and ran through several scenarios in her head while her heart drummed in apprehension; neither talking on the phone nor apologising were exactly her forte.

The other line had rung but there was no answer. Frowning, though admittedly a little relieved, she tried again to no avail.

"Who you calling?"

"Henry, but he's not picking up. I'll just text him…"

"Babe, you can't just _text_ him after what you said last night."

"Was it _that_ bad?"

"You practically told him that it wasn't a shock that Alice left." Yikes. "And that was _after_ you told him he looked like shit. Exact words." Double yikes.

Alright, so Ruki had had some _feelings_ about their separation, and their marriage in the first place, though none that she would ever dream of disclosing to Henry… In her right mind, anyway.

Guess he _really_ didn't want to speak to her. She'd call later, she decided. For now, she hoped that vaguely pointing to her open mouth would send a clear enough message to Ryo that she needed another glass of water, _desperately_. He complied, but not without making a bargain.

She made a move to take the cup of water until he abruptly swung it away from her clamouring hands, just enough to be out of reach.

"Promise me you'll call him again and apologise properly."

"Yes, I know. I will."

His voice softened considerably. "And that—when you're ready—you'll tell me what's going on."

"…There's nothing to…"

"No secrets, remember?"

She sighed, remembering their pact.

"No secrets."

He placed a lingering kiss on her hair before the cup into her waiting hands. "Good."

* * *

Standing in the veggie aisle, Ruki checked her phone again for any new missed calls, her shopping basket hooked over her arm. It was late afternoon, and by now she had left Henry several voice messages that he still hadn't returned.

"D'you think three onions is enough?" Ruki, still absorbed into her phone, didn't respond. "Babe."

"Huh?" She looked to Ryo, then to the small bag of onions in his hand. "Uh, yeah. Three, whatever."

He placed them in the basket. "Still not picking up, huh?"

She shook her head. He'd never been _this_ mad at her before. She had spoken to Takato and Juri earlier, the former more than happy to forgive her whilst the latter insisted that they meet for coffee later in the week to talk. She then took the chance to properly congratulate them on the pregnancy, somewhat glad they couldn't see her blush over the phone because she really was so happy for them.

Ruki sighed and tucked the phone back in her jeans pocket, the item feeling heavy on her hip as it did on her mind, then repeated to herself for the umpteenth time that she'd try again later.

They went on to inspect the tomatoes, each perfectly red and not a blemish in sight. "These would be good in an omelette…" Ryo mused. He put several in the basket. "You know, I wonder if Henry's eating well."

Broken out of her reverie, she began to recall bits and pieces of a thinner frame and paler skin. A wry smile appeared. "He never was good at moving on."

He picked up an eggplant, examining it closely. "Why don't we make him dinner and bring it to his house? He can't refuse us on his doorstep, right?"

Ruki gaped at him. "That's a bit _pushy_ , don't you think?"

"Me? Pushy? Never. Just serious about my apologies," he said with a wink.

"Taking a fifty minute train ride to have a door shut in my face? That'd have to be a hard no from me." She swiped the large eggplant from his grip and replaced it with a handful of smaller ones. "And please, you can be plenty pushy."

He muttered, " _I'm_ pushy? You're the one that always insists on being on top…"

"—Do you _understand_ that we're in public right now?" she hissed, eyeing the old woman sifting through the tomatoes a little too close for comfort. She took him by the elbow to lead him toward the fruit aisle. They stopped by the lemons and she placed a tray in the basket. "And what if Henry doesn't let us in?"

A thoughtful finger landed on Ryo's chin. "Hmm, I don't think he'd do that. In fact, I think he'd probably appreciate a good meal."

He was right, of course. "Look, I _want_ to go, I just…"

"You're afraid he'll reject your apology," he said simply.

She rolled her eyes. "No, _Freud_ , I just don't wanna look like an idiot."

"Then—"

She hadn't finished yet. "But I _know_ that I have to. So I'll go. It's driving me nuts that he's not answering his phone anyway. Okay? Happy?" He grinned his approval, all pearly and white, and she impishly bopped him on the head with an orange.

They made a return trip back to the vegetable aisle to pick up extras for Henry's portion before making a beeline for the cashiers. While they were waiting in line, Ruki slipped her phone out of her pocket and began composing a new message.

 **To:** Henry Lee  
 **Message:** Hey, I'm not sure if you got my  
messages but Ryo and I are coming over to  
bring you dinner. We won't be taking no  
for an answer.

Ruki winced as she hit 'send', expelling the breath she didn't realise was being held in.

 _Hope he likes omelettes._

* * *

 _78… 80… 82… 84._

They entered the opening at the fence, following the path of rectangular stepping-stones that lined a bed of white pebbles, leading all the way to a gorgeous concrete slab house and a large timber door adorned with glass slats.

Ryo whistled in appreciation as they drew closer, their eyes darting everywhere from one end of the house to the other. "This place is just as impressive as I remember."

Arriving at the doorstep, Ruki took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

When there was no answer, they rang it again, knocking on the door while they did.

Nothing. "…He's not home."

"Okay, so I _may_ not have thought this through…" Sheepishly he rubbed the back of his head, unsure of their next move. A look that says ' _ya think?_ ' was shot toward his direction, but nothing was said.

Ruki crossed her arms. "Well, it's better than getting a door shut in my face."

Ryo turned to her in absolute shock. "Is that _optimism_ I hear?"

She smirked. "Don't get used to it."

The taller brunette, who was thought to possess the soul of a nosey middle-aged aunty on occasion, began peeking into the glass slats. Inexplicably, Ruki felt inclined to join him.

The sky outside was dimming into twilight hues of pink and orange, but none of the lights in the house were on.

She pushed down on the handle and the door clicked open.

"Ruki, what the hell are you—"

"—Shh. Something doesn't feel right."

A low _'and she says_ I'm _pushy_ ' was muttered before they cautiously entered the house. Removing their shoes, they stepped onto the polished floorboards and slowly made their way into the living room. Spacious, high ceilings. Dark but tastefully decorated. A sombre shadow cast by the walls littered with happy family photos.

Slowly creeping into the kitchen, they spotted a bowl of uneaten, wilting fruit sitting on the stone countertop. A kettle on the stove.

Then broken glass scattered along the floor.

"…Oh my God."

" _Henry!_ "

A thud was heard as the lunchbox hit the floor, and immediately they rushed to the unmistakeably unconscious body face down on the kitchen floor.

Their frantic attempts to rouse him were to no success. His eyes were rolled back, his pulse shallow and intermittent, mussed hair stained with a hint of blood. Ruki desperately punched in the number for an ambulance, praying for a fast response.

"Henry! God, Henry…"

She remained on the phone to the emergency services as Ryo clung fiercely to his body, fingers to his neck to monitor the waning pulse. His own breathing grew shallower by the minute. He couldn't bare if he—…

"Don't worry, Henry," Ruki's quivering voice assured, "we've got help coming for you. Just hang on…"

"Please, just a little longer…"

* * *

 _To be continued_


	4. Less Than Friends

A/N: Hi and thanks for reading! This fic is a rewrite of an older version I had written years ago, now with an added flavour very loosely inspired by my own real-life transition into a quarter-life crisis (I laugh to hide my pain, ha ha ha). The idea originated when I noticed that, in _Tamers_ , Henry and Hirokazu's respective friendships with Takato are given a lot of depth and focus whereas they're not really seen interacting with _each other_ in that way. I thought it was such a shame; I always imagined their personalities having great chemistry together, and could see them becoming close friends as they got older beyond the show. My only hope for this story is that you can come to see that, and enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!

By the by, there are a few (Japanese) culture-specific things that are alluded to in this chapter. I only really describe what is relevant to the story, but if you're having trouble understanding some motivations or you want to know some backstory, feel free to let me know in a review/PM and I'll be happy to divulge.

Thanks for your patronage. Onwards!

* * *

 **Junctures**

Chapter IV  
 _"Less Than Friends"_

 _"Aren't you coming to class?"_

 _"Later."_

 _"Someone could catch us out here, you know."_

 _"Relax, yo, I'll only be a minute."_

 _Hirokazu reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it as he crouched down against the wall. It looked different from his usual ones._

 _"This is from_ Alice _," he beamed. "They're_ Irish _."_

 _The other boy eyed his friend from where he stood with his arms crossed. "Does she even know your name?"_

 _"Who cares? We have a_ meeting spot _now."_

 _"If everyone goes to smoke there in secret, it's hardly a meeting spot. And—" He coughed as the smoke rose, "—Woah,_ _Mr Kanazaki's_ definitely _gonna smell that on you."_

 _Kazu huffed. "Could you not to be such a killjoy for once, Hen? And just sit here with me?"_

 _When Kazu didn't budge, Henry sighed and gave in, dropping his bag and sliding down the wall to squat down next to him. "I'm not covering for you again if you get caught."_

 _The tall-haired boy blew a cloud of smoke directly onto Henry and he jumped up with a squeal, swatting the air around him in a frenzy. "What the hell are you doing!?"_

 _Hirokazu laughed and took a puff. "Too bad, bud, we're in this one together."_

* * *

Grey eyes stirred open, adjusting under the lights to find an unfamiliar room.

Beige walls. Pink bedsheets. Polaroids of people he'd never seen before scattered on the mirror near the bed.

Then a wave of nausea hit him.

 _Where the hell am I?_

* * *

" _Thanks, Hirokazu. I'll give this back to you tomorrow."_

" _Hey, it's no problem," he replied, eyes fixated on her backside as he watched her walk away. He called after her, "and please, call me Kazu!"_

 _She turned her head to look back at him with a smile. Henry, next to him, leaned into Kazu from his desk. "Uh, and_ how _are you supposed to do your paper without the textbook?"_

 _A stupid grin still lingered on Kazu's face. "Isn't she cute? That blonde hair and those blue eyes… And that_ awesome rack _."_

 _He shook his head. "Are you even listening to me? You do wanna_ graduate _, don't you?"_

 _Kazu turned to him with his best serious face, a finger in the air. "Ryo says that you've gotta make sacrifices for the ones you love."_

" _I'm pretty sure this isn't what he meant when he said that."_

" _Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same if she asked you."_

 _Henry rolled his eyes. "One, she's not really my type, and two, she didn't even_ ask _you; you butt in after eavesdropping on her, ya creep." Henry began to pack up his books, "Anyway, I actually_ want _to finish the paper due tomorrow, so I'll see ya."_

" _W-wait. Where you goin'? Aren't we sharing_ your _textbook!? Kenta doesn't let me copy anymore!"_

 _Henry laughed. "No way!"_

" _You want me to graduate, right!?"_

 _He groaned, but a little smile gave away his amusement._

"… _Fine. But you're paying for snacks."_

* * *

A gasp was heard from the doorway. "You're awake!"

Suzie hurried to his side, a steaming cup of tea threatening to spill over in her hands.

Oh, God. That's right. Suzie's place. Henry began to recall the fluorescent hospital lights, the IV hooked to his arm, the silver-haired doctor. They did say there'd be some spaces in his short-term memory.

"Here." She put the steaming cup on the nightstand beside him.

"Thanks." He paused, struggling to remember more. "What day is it?"

"It's Thursday, big brother."

" _What_? How long have I been out?"

"Relax, you've only been asleep for a few hours. You don't remember coming home from the hospital?"

He shook his head; that one didn't come back to him.

"Well, I hope you don't mind that I helped myself to your house keys—I needed to get your things. I ran out of Taka's clothes to give you."

"No, of course that's fine. Though… wouldn't he mind me staying here?"

She tucked a short strand of maroon hair behind her ear. "No, actually, we broke up."

"…Ah." He gestured to her cropped hair. "So that's what the haircut's about."

"…Yeah, sorry I didn't mention it. You were real busy with work, so…" She trailed off, and her gaze fell to the floor.

Henry slowly propped himself up and took a sip of his tea. She watched him; every sluggish turn of his head, and his tired, glazed eyes. They'd been so close, and as kids he would always be the one to stick up for her when their older siblings didn't. But seeing him like this… She almost forgot. She'd almost forgotten that, as he turned into an empty shell, he was once—to her—the greatest man alive. And he was now sitting broken on her bed, gangly fingers wrapped around one another.

"Big brother?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you alright?"

He didn't look up from his mug. "No, not really. I'm really nauseous, and my head's kinda spinning." He tried to manage a laugh, but didn't quite get there.

That wasn't what she meant, but she let it slide. Beside being a little thinner and scruffier, he looked different even from the last time she'd seen him, the otherwise-charming smile lines now like creases on an unironed shirt—when did he get those?

"Big brother?" she called again.

"Yeah?"

"Just—if you need anything… I'm here."

He paused for a moment to look at her, before breaking into a smile—his first real one in a while. "Thanks, Suzie."

* * *

 _Overlooking the lights dotting the skyline and the busy streets below, solitude was found at last. Henry breathed a long sigh of relief and closed his eyes to bask in the warm spring air, liberated from the haze and trashy eurobeat mix thumping on inside._

" _I knew I'd find you here."_

 _Henry didn't have to turn around to know who the voice belonged to._

" _I'm surprised you're out here," he said, "you seemed pretty cozy with that crying girl back there."_

" _Oh_ God _she wouldn't stop!" Alice cried. Henry burst into laughter, thoroughly entertained by the sight of the girl buried in the crook of Alice's neck, blubbering unintelligibly about a boyfriend or something or rather. "It's not funny, Lee. I've got freakin' cling marks on my arms."_

" _It's a little funny." That earned him a jab to the shoulder. "Okay! It's not funny."_

 _The upward twitch of his lips didn't fool her, but it kind of made her feel better._

 _Alice came to lean on the rail next to him with her beer in hand. They stood in comfortable silence, elbows dangling freely over the balcony railing. Though they didn't consider themselves the most social of butterflies, after Kazu had dragged them both to his college's famed start-of-the-semester party, then to the end-of-semester party, mid-semester party and almost-mid-semester parties, they kind of missed having actual coherent conversations. Eventually, they'd both end up in all the quiet spaces and settle with only having each other to talk to. They were never really friends, despite having attended the same high school and, now, the same university, but the mutual contempt for crowds and annoying drunk people finally got them acquainted as more than just Kazu's unfortunate tag-alongs. It was all Kazu ever wanted._

" _So are we taking him to your place or mine tonight?" Henry asked. "I think your place is closer."_

 _All the nights ended up the same way anyway. With Kazu staggering to the nearest toilet bowl and Henry and Alice both at his side, propping him up under each arm._

 _She flicked a blonde strand out of her eye, her hair falling back to rest perfectly in place at the top of her shoulders. "Yeah, but you guys have that basketball thingy tomorrow."_

" _Oh, right. Guess you're off the hook then."_

" _Hey, I'm still trying to get the spew smell out of my favourite sheets, I deserve some downtime," she laughed._

 _A calming breeze washed over them. It was a shame that Henry's otherwise-pleasant walk home would have to have a drunken Kazu in tow tonight. Oh well, Kazu was an interesting conversationalist either way—he could be surprisingly perceptive when they'd least expect it._

" _Oh yeah," Henry piped, "Congrats on the anniversary."_

 _Alice took a sip of her beer. "Thanks, Lee."_

" _First one's the big one," he continued._

" _So they say."_

 _He laughed. "Why do I get the feeling that you're not that excited?"_

 _She turned her head in his direction and her eyes, crystalline blue, pierced right through him. "I guess you don't know me as well as you thought."_

 _Unfazed, he raised an eyebrow at her. "Well give me a chance, will ya."_

* * *

Ruki toppled onto the sofa as soon as she came in the door, Ryo trailing behind her with their forgotten convenience store dinner still intact in a plastic bag. It was well into midnight, _just_ having made it in time for the last train from the hospital, and neither eating nor speaking were very high on the agenda right now.

They didn't even bother turning the lights on, letting the moon illuminate what it could through the kitchen window. Finally, Ryo's legs gave in and he collapsed onto the sofa beside her, sprawling his legs out and angling his body just enough to lie on his back.

'Traumatic Brain Injury' kept floating around in his head. Henry had apparently collapsed from severe hypoglycaemia before concussing after hitting his head hard on a sharp corner. The doctor explained that his body simply hadn't roused itself because of the condition that it was in.

' _Simply_ '. That's the word the doctor had used. He was 'simply' unconscious for too long. None of it felt simple to Ryo. His hand hovered above his face, staring at the fingers that had been on Henry's pulse. He'd felt it dwindle with his own two fingers, almost felt it go out. If they'd been an hour later…

 _No_ , he shook his head. That's not what mattered now. For lack of a better word, Henry was lucky. He wouldn't be suffering any severe long-term damage. There was no bleeding in the brain. The side-affects would be bad for a while, and it'd take him some months to recover, but he'd be okay. _He'll be okay_ , he assured himself.

Ruki had felt his head shake against her thigh. "You okay?"

Sometimes, he could be just as transparent as she was. The faraway look, the furrowed brows, the visible contours at the clench of his jaws. The way his mouth would open slightly, striving for a word but his throat feeling too strangled to speak.

Unwavering, she lifted his head into her lap and her fingers began to sweep at his temples, her touch straying to his hair. Ruki's caress was loving, reassuring. "Shh…" she soothed, "you did good." He let his eyes drift closed, and his body relax. He was far too wired to fall asleep, but he could definitely stand to cool down.

As Ruki continued her ministrations, she thought back on the night they'd just had. Sirens still rang in her head, her heart beating like her body was still running. And her own problems suddenly felt small.

She drew lazy circles on his scalp as his breathing began to slow. "I wanted to save the world," she suddenly said. Ryo cracked an eye open to look up at her, but _her_ eyes were somewhere else. "Make a difference, or something. But everything I've worked towards has fallen on deaf ears. That's what I'd been thinking about." Her voice stayed low and steady. It didn't quiver nor was it irritated. "I realised… that they haven't implemented a single proposal that I've submitted. Not a _single one_ in six years."

 _'Too controversial,'_ they said. _'We don't want to rock the boat,'_ they said.

"Do you know what that means?" she asked, not really anticipating an answer. "…It means I've worked for nothing."

Ruki thought that she'd done everything right: She went to a great university. Graduated with honours. Got the job she'd wanted as a policy advisor despite all the warnings that they preferred more 'wholesome'-looking candidates. She'd written a detailed personal game plan for her career—all the great strategies she could introduce and how she could potentially have a hand in catalysing the next economic revolution through progressive social reform. It was shamelessly blunt and a little self-aggrandising, but it was comprehensive and, for the most part, _feasible_.

But prefectural government was a fickle—and stubborn—machine. She'd found out the hard way.

She just wished she hadn't found out so late.

She thought back to Kenta again. They'd started at the same orientation. They'd both minored in biology, and graduated at the same time. But in a year, he would probably be one step closer to a cure while, if she resigned, her _own_ job prospects would be withering because she was at the _mom_ age. Employers were practically allergic.

Why did _her_ career have to have an expiry date? Why did any woman's? _That_ was what she'd wanted to change, but…

She sighed again, long and deep, and Ryo could only take her hand and place a comforting kiss on the underside of her palm. There was nothing else they could say. In just a few short hours, they would have to be up again to start the day and get on with the Monday grind. The spill of principle and resolve would disappear with the night. For now, they'd just have to soldier on because somebody out there was faring much worse.

* * *

 _Dapper in his best grey suit, Henry manoeuvred through the bustling dormitory hallway, passing by jubilant graduates congregating and snapping photos in their kimonos and formal garb. The air was electric, the excitement from the morning's graduation ceremony still running high. Four years and a gruelling thesis period later, they were finally students no longer._

 _Arriving at the end of the hall, he knocked briefly before popping a perfectly groomed head in the door._

" _Hey, you coming to the after party?"_

 _Alice looked up at him from where she sat on the floor amidst books and miscellaneously labelled boxes strewn around the room. Piles upon piles of clothing filled in all the gaps in between._

" _This is a mess."_

" _Yes, Henry, thank you for your observation."_

 _Henry came in and closed the door behind him. He made a move to find a place he could sit, or lean, or something, but every surface appeared to be covered. Surveying the room, he noticed the various pieces of her kimono forgotten on one of the piles instead. "You should probably hang that," he said pointing. "They're kind of expensive."_

" _Trust me, I would if I knew how to."_

" _It's not terribly hard, you just take the…" He stopped when he noticed her smile and bat her eyelashes at him in a rather theatrical fashion. He shook his head with a smirk. "That's not gonna work on me, McCoy. There are like a hundred parts to that thing."_

" _Could you at least help me put some of this crap in these boxes then? It'd be a_ huge _help."_

 _Yeesh, that sounded tedious but eh, why not? He had some time to kill. Henry picked up the fluffy thing next to him—a coat, maybe?—and neatly folded it before placing it in a box full of other clothing. He picked up a folder full of loose notes next, scanning the room for a box it might belong in._

" _Oh! Those are my Contract Law notes. Here, pass them over." She reached her hands out to take the large folder, Henry fumbling to keep the loose papers in. He tightly clamped over the top and bottom of the folder and handed it to her. Alice received it carefully, her fingers just touching the top of his hands as she did._

 _They flinched as their hands touched, and Henry jerked his hand away. They'd been doing so well to avoid any awkwardness since the 'accidental' kiss last week at another party Kazu had dragged them to. The stairwell was all dark and they'd been drinking a little bit, was all. It was nothing—less than nothing—so there was no reason for Kazu to know._

 _Packing suddenly seemed like the more pressing matter._

 _After a while of awkward conversational eggshell-walking, they slowly fell back into their regular pattern of banter and completely immersed themselves into packing up Alice's room. So much so that hours had passed and the room suddenly had visible surfaces again. Finally, though some knick-knacks were still scattered over her desk and bed, the only things left on the floor were just the mostly-filled boxes and the two bodies sitting cross-legged in the middle of it._

" _Oh," Henry checked his watch. "It's eight o'clock already. You still wanna go?"_

" _I guess. You hate parties though."_

" _So? So do you."_

"So _, why even go?"_

 _Henry shrugged. "'Cause it's graduation, maybe? Last chance to make memories and all that? I dunno."_

" _I kinda just had fun here packing."_

 _He smiled, almost a little bashfully. "Me too."_

" _So, we going or what, Lee?"_

" _I guess?"_

 _She laughed, propping her head up on her hand, "Why do I get the feeling that you're not all that excited?"_

 _He turned to look right at her, his grey probing deep into her blue. Alice felt herself shiver._

" _I guess you just know me too well," he said._

 _She wasn't sure what made her do it, or where the boldness came from, but Alice found herself leaning forward into him, stopping just inches away, as if to dare him._

 _When he didn't make a move, she suddenly realised what an idiotic thing she just did._

" _Shit, I'm so—"_

 _But her next word was muffled as he closed the gap between them and consumed her in a kiss. His lips were moist and languid against hers, applying just the right amount of pressure. It was a kiss for all the nights they'd spent talking. A kiss for all the study dates at the uni library. A kiss for how they would drive each other insane in all the right ways. A kiss for all the times she'd wanted to cry_ his _name while she bucked and writhed._

 _The kisses grew intense. Needy. Lips and fingers wandered all over and the perfect marriage of desire and ecstasy overtook them. In a hot and heavy flash the bed was cleared and the recently tidied room was now re-littered with clothing, precautions the last thing on their minds._

* * *

Henry slumped back onto the couch with a blanket draped over him, dismissively flicking through endless channels, more of an idle dabble of his hands rather than an actual desire to watch anything. Well into a week staying at his sister's place, other than "eating properly" and then spewing it all back up, it was all he'd been doing. He shaved today, that was a start. At least when he threw up every few hours it wouldn't get caught in his scruff anymore. Suzie suggested that he should probably take walks—but he declined; walking left way too much time for thinking.

The doorbell rang, and Suzie walked right passed him for the door. His trance-like gaze remained fixated on the TV while the indistinct chatter, the clacking of the door and shuffling of shoes sank far into the background. He didn't even notice the voices suddenly grow quiet as they approached him.

"Daddy!"

* * *

 _To be continued_


	5. Eight Years Ago

_Ruki questions the course of her adulthood, and learns that growing up doesn't have to mean growing apart._

* * *

 **Junctures**

Chapter V  
 _"Eight Years Ago"_

"No good?"

"Huh?"

Alice looked up at him, interrupted from distractedly staring at the plate of food instead of eating it.

"Is it the bean sprouts? Too much chilli? Is it the _fishy smell_? Goddamnit, I asked that old geezer to sell me the fish sauce that _wasn't_ too—"

"No!" she cried. "This is good. I love it."

Okay, she was a little _too_ enthusiastic. For her standards anyway. "You haven't even tried it."

Alice rolled her eyes, a little smirk on her face. "Well I won't if you keep badgering me." She didn't have much of an appetite for Thai food these days, but she'd humour him anyway. Using her chopsticks to pick up a sizeable helping of the homemade pad thai, she locked eyes with him as she did to make sure he saw.

She put the lot of it in her mouth, and nodded approvingly. Kazu laughed as she struggled to get the stray bits of noodle falling out the corners of her mouth, and as he sat back to watch her eat his loving handiwork, his hand subconsciously went to rest over the key in his pocket. He'd cleaned his apartment, the sheets were washed, and she looked perfect in her waitress uniform, Kazu particularly admiring the way the fabric stretched at her chest, a singular button barely keeping it together.

Tonight would be the night.

"Good?"

She managed to swallow. "That's some fucking good pad thai."

"YES!" He pumped a fist in the air. "Take _that_ , Takato!"

Alice didn't know what _that_ was about, but she smiled to herself all the same. He was most definitely a doofus. A mostly frustrating, but well-meaning, occasionally-incredibly-sweet _doofus_. And he didn't deserve any of this.

Since her graduation night, _that_ night, Alice had poured all of her waking time into the remaining weeks of her part-time job, taking all the shifts she possibly could at the restaurant—both days and nights—anything she could get to avoid having to face her betrayed boyfriend. She'd been especially tired lately, and her body ached but the weary bones and mental exhaustion was worth at least the time she needed to think about what she was going to say. This was their first night, alone and actually spending some time together, and she could barely look in his direction.

A cursory glance at him while he devoured his food confirmed her anxieties. God, she loved the way he spent so much time trying to get his hair to stand exactly upright like that. And the sheer width of his stupid grin… She even loved the quips he'd make to annoy her _just_ before surprising her with something completely, unthinkingly selfless.

And she wondered, when—exactly—had she started to fall out of love with him? How could it have been so surreptitious that she hadn't even noticed until her lips were on somebody else's, and Kazu hadn't even been a passing thought?

Another mouthful of pad thai later, the smile had disappeared and the reality of what she did those three weeks before came back to settle in her stomach as a tense, simmering mess.

"Why're you acting so weird?" he asked with a mouth still full of pad thai.

"What? I'm not."

He swallowed. "Uh, yeah you are." Sitting undignified with his elbows on the table and chopsticks in the air, he waited for an answer from Alice that never came, her blue eyes averting its gaze.

This wasn't how it was supposed to play out—denial wasn't her usual style, and lying to him more, even if it was to save her butt for the moment, would just make things worse if the truth was going to come out later anyway.

And she knew that, but the words wouldn't come out of her mouth.

Kazu gave her another weird look. "Oookay. Whatever. Actually, Alice, there's something I wanna give you…" He straightened up in his chair, wiped off any hints of sauce from around his mouth and smoothed out his shirt. Clearing his throat, he continued, stammering some. "I-I mean, well, I wanna _ask_ you—uh—now that we've graduated and we'll both be working in Tokyo, I was kinda wondering if maybe you wanted to move—"

"I slept with someone else."

Almost immediately, likely taking the time to register what he'd just heard, his chopsticks fell to the floor. He was still for a moment. Then he began shaking his head, like he was refusing an offer. Like the words were given to him on a platter that could be taken back.

Hands clenched and unclenched. "…Who?"

At first, he spoke so quietly, Alice had to strain to hear him. But when she finally gathered the courage to look right at him, his scowl was deep. Terrifying. Eyes blazing.

"W-what—"

" _Who!?_ "

* * *

It had plagued him—haunted him—for three weeks now.

On that night, in the last seconds of release, Henry had rolled away to lie beside her in post-coital stupor, despising himself. By the telltale way her shoulders twitched while she faced away from him, he was sure she'd wept too.

Was it was she who should tell Kazu? Was it him? Was it inappropriate to tell him together because it seemed to imply that they were telling him _together_? The uncertainty was agonising, and he'd hoped that she would give him some indication of her intentions but there wasn't a peep that was heard from her since. He'd tried calling several times, one night even waited outside her dad's old place where she was staying. At the risk of looking pushy though, he was kind of relieved that she hadn't come home.

Was she sleeping over at Kazu's place, he wondered? Somehow the thought bothered him, even when it had no right to.

Under the garish fluorescent light, Henry kept a watchful eye on the blade travelling over his jaw, chin and over the top of his neck, his gaze careful to avoid his own eyes. Finishing up, he wiped the blade on a towel and exited the bathroom, seizing on a shirt then grabbing a cardigan. If Alice wasn't going to give him any cues as to whether she would be telling Kazu anything, then he was not going to just wait around and let the guilt eat away at him. It was time to make things right.

Slipping on a pair of sneakers, he moved to grab his keys and his phone from the side table. A little envelope and telephone icon hovered on the thumb-sized front screen. Two missed calls and an unread message.

He flipped his phone open. From Alice McCoy.

Eyes glued to the screen, he opened the door to leave, only to stop when he noticed a pair of shoes facing him on the ground below.

Henry's eyes swung up to the head they belonged to, but Hirokazu's face was seen for only a split second before the fist flying into his face.

"You fucking _asshole_!"

Henry groaned and writhed on the ground, a hand on his face. " _Ow… ow… argh…_ " The blood from his nose began to seep through between his fingers, and he was pretty sure it was broken.

Furious hands snatched at Henry's collar and jerked him back up and around, shoving him hard against the wall, the plaster colliding with the phone in his pocket and digging into his side.

"My _girlfriend_!? Really!?" Kazu bellowed, pinning him against the wall. "You can have _anyone_ you want and you slept with _my_ girlfriend!?"

Henry's hands flew back to his face and his eyes squeezed shut, prepared for the worst. The blood had run down his neck, staining his shirt collar where Kazu had bunched at the material, and Kazu's right knuckles were now trembling and glowing red where he had struck his best friend in the face just moments before.

To his surprise, Henry didn't receive the punch that he had anticipated, and slowly reopened his eyes to figure out what exactly was keeping him. What he found was Kazu's eyes, looking right at him for the first time that night. They were glassy and rimmed with redness. He'd been crying.

Kazu's eyes began to trail over Henry's face, at first over the bloodied nose, then to the streams of blood that had fanned down his face, over his mouth and down his neck.

Their heavy breathing and Henry's pained moaning filled in the silence, then quietly, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

The blue-haired boy attempted a reply but his throat wouldn't cooperate. Kazu slowly let go, Henry sliding down the wall and dropping onto the floor.

"Who sleeps with their best friend's girlfriend? Who _does_ that?"

"I'm sorry," Henry managed to choke out, "I'm so sorry."

Kazu shook his head and turned away, bringing his right hand up to flinchingly nurse the pain with his other hand. It still trembled, but he soon figured that it wasn't because of the throbbing pain that it did.

"Why'd you do it?" Kazu asked still facing away from him, his rapid-thumping heartbeat working overtime.

The searing sensation in Henry's nose began to numb itself out as the feeling of regret came back to blanket over him. There was no delicate way to say _why_ they did it. He didn't just see her across the room one night and decided that he had to have her.

What was funniest, he found—in the loosest sense of the word—was that he didn't even like her that much at first. She was smart, but seemed kind of haughty, a little too fond of the attention and advantages that her blonde hair and blue eyes gave her in Japan. Too sarcastic, too direct, didn't apologise enough, everything she said was a tease… and he didn't even notice when these became the things that he unequivocally _liked_ about her.

"I… I think I love her," came Henry's muffled voice through his hands. Though what good did that confession do him when what he'd done couldn't ever be justified?

A loud _crash_ was heard as Kazu kicked the small wooden dining table, flipping it over. Pivoting to look right at him, he yelled, "I'm your _best friend_ , man! Doesn't that mean _anything_ to you!?"

Kazu towered over the whimpering Henry, an accusing finger pointed right at him. Henry was huddled on the ground, blood all over his face and the hands that obscured it. His shirt was a mess. His legs sprawled out in defeat. _Kazu_ did this, and he had to push out the thoughts of shame before they began to bubble to the surface.

Nostrils flaring, he forced himself to subdue his heavy breathing into deep inhales to calm himself down.

"Fucking pathetic," he finally spat. "Get yourself cleaned up."

Hirokazu stalked past him and back out the door, slamming it shut.

He sat still where he was for a while, partially riding out the pain, mostly in a limp state of shock. Henry then took his phone out of his pocket to check that it didn't get damaged when it hit the wall. The little envelope icon still lingered. He'd completely forgotten about the message.

He flipped the phone open.

 **From:** Alice McCoy (amccoy1420)  
 **Subject:** Kazu knows  
 **Message:** I think he might be heading your way.  
I'm really sorry. I didn't want to avoid you, but there's  
something we need to talk about. It's urgent, so  
call me back asap.

Despite the throng of blood on his face in desperate need of medical attention, he punched in her contact name to call her back.

 _What could possibly be more urgent than this?_

* * *

"Bottoms up!"

Two tall shot glasses collided with a _clink_ , the contents of which devoured by their proprietors in perfect harmony. Slamming them back onto the bar counter, Hirokazu looked to his companion, and she wiped a stray trickle of schnapps off her chin.

"Good to be back."

He gave her a thumbs up and a wink.

"Even if it has to be here with you," she quipped.

His face faltered at the jab, his pride decidedly hurt. "Hey! It's not like you're a big beacon of sunshine either, I was being _nice_ when I ran into you at the station. I carried your suitcase home and everything, gimme a break."

Ruki chuckled before taking a sip of her rum-and-coke as a chaser. Fiery auburn hair now framed her face, her bangs grown out, and penetrating lilac eyes peered over her glass as she drank, trailing down to the cast around his right hand—an off-white that clashed starkly with the red of his polo shirt.

"So are you gonna tell me what happened to your hand or what? You didn't say anything when I asked you at the station. It's not like you to refuse attention," she said with a smirk.

Kazu rolled his eyes with a huff, uncharacteristically choosing not to toss a scathing rebuttal her way. "I punched a guy in the face a couple weeks ago." He crossed his arms and turned up his nose, feigning an air of triumph. "Guy didn't stand a chance."

"Yet you broke your hand."

"Shut up."

Ruki let out an exasperated sigh. "Does 'the guy' happen to be Henry?" Kazu's eyebrows shot up, immediately questioning her. "Takato and I do talk, you know."

Kazu's arms slowly uncrossed, dropping to his sides. "…So you know about…"

"Yeap." Ruki took another sip of her drink before her hand went up to signal the bartender, almost nonchalantly, for another round of peach schnapps.

"So why'd you ask? Just to torture me?" Two more shot glasses were placed in front of them in succession, the pungent faux-peach smell radiating from them.

Ruki lifted one off the counter, raised it in his direction as a courtesy and swiftly swung her head back to drink it. Glass slammed back onto the wooden countertop. "Yeap," she repeated.

Hirokazu followed suit, albeit a little less gracefully. Then, "Well I don't wanna talk about it."

Ruki guzzled down the rest of her rum-and-coke. "Good, I'm not interested."

Simultaneously, they both signalled to the bartender again with a sudden newfound irritation. Two can play at this game.

Before they knew it, hours and many a number of emptied shot glasses had passed, leaving them the only two still sitting at the bar on the thinning end of a Monday night at the dingy English pub. Ruki hadn't imagined her welcome back to big city life after four years away would end up the same way she had left it, alone with Kazu no less, who was finding it increasingly hard to contain his blatant and absolute sorrow for his situation with Henry and Alice.

"How could he _do this_ to me, man?" he cried, his palms out as if he held something very fragile in them. "She was _everything_ to me! And d'you know what? I was gonna ask her to move in with me! They fucked on their _graduation night_ and they waited _so long_ to tell me, ya know? So _goddamn_ long."

Ruki slammed a fist onto the counter, forcing a stern face but body swaying tellingly. "Bitches!"

Kazu had slumped over the bar at this point, his head resting on his left arm. "So long…"

In that moment, Kazu fantasised about being someone like 'Joey from _Friends_ '—so easily forgiving when _his_ best friend had kissed his girlfriend. Everything was resolved so quickly then. It was clean, and it was simple.

But the knot in his chest and the cast on his hand as a constant reminder felt neither clean nor simple. 'Joey from _Friends'_ probably didn't feel this way. Otherwise he, too, may have found himself at the bar one episode with a female friend—perhaps Rachel or Monica—pouring his heart out then suddenly finding _her_ lilac eyes strangely captivating.

The redhead interrupted his drunken wallowing. "Guess who sent me a message outta the blue the other day."

"Who?"

" _Butthead_ Akiyama."

"Ryo!?" he exclaimed with glee, abruptly snapping out of his slumping position and sitting up to face her directly. "What'd it say!?"

"Something like, _oh pumpkin, I hear you're back in the big city soon_ ," her voice dropped an octave to mimic him, not bothering to mask her contempt, " _let's catch up when I visit, miss you!_ What a jackass."

" _You_ told me you thought he was cute once—"

"—it was a childish _thing_ ages ago but he acts like we're _long lost_ _lovers_ or something. I haven't even _seen_ him since my last card tournament in high school." She waved a defiant finger around in the air as the slurred words rolled out of her mouth. "Last I heard his _dumb head_ already had a girlfriend anyway—"

"—I heard he had several—"

"—and I guess he's trying to get back into my pants now that his dumb book's failed."

"Yeowch, claws out, mama," he drawled. Astoundingly, Ruki laughed at his reaction, somewhat appreciative that he didn't try to remind her that she'd been the one boldly exclaiming not to give a _toot_ about what was going on in the pretty boy's life, while still managing to let the little-known detail about him slip.

Perhaps it _was_ that she was a little sad for him that his book failed. Perhaps it was because she'd secretly read it, and picked up on the unmistakeable similarities between the main protagonist and herself. Perhaps it was because the critics had found _fault_ with his staunchly idealistic characters, when rather, she'd drawn encouragement from their goodness and steadfast refusal to give into cynicism instead.

Above all, Ruki was appreciative that Kazu didn't laugh in her face at her weirdly unresolved feelings for someone who lived all the way on another island and only sought her out for what seemed to be his own entertainment. Even while Kazu was sinking into his own heartache.

She leaned onto the counter, propping her head up on her hand and her eyes raked over him studiously. He was far from sober, but he managed to pick up on it eventually, returning her piercing gaze with a baffled one.

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

Ruki took a deep breath. "Why don't you come home with me?"

* * *

Hirokazu awoke, blinking his eyes rapidly to adjust to the sunlight filtering through the shoji windows. Softly reflecting off the tatami flooring, the light blanketed the spacious, traditional room in an enchanting morning glow.

This was definitely not his room.

As he shifted to move, he came into contact with another pair of bare legs under the duvet, which, by the slow stretching and slithering, were also beginning to stir.

Kazu rolled around to come face-to-face with a mass of red hair he would recognise anywhere.

And a bare back, save for the thin cotton band of a simple black bra.

 _No, no, no, no, nonononononono…_

Before he could ponder too much on why the _hell_ he was in bed with Ruki in nothing but his underwear (and hand cast, if that counted), Lilac eyes were, all of a sudden, leering right at him. He hadn't even noticed her coming to.

Kazu's own eyes had opened so widely they could've popped out of his head. Naturally, his first instinct was to yell. "Oh my _God_! Did we—"

She clamped her hands over his mouth, stifling him immediately. " _Shut up_ ," she hissed. "I do _not_ need my mom and grandma to know you're here."

Slowly removing her hand to reveal Kazu's still-gaping mouth, she sat up to reach for the grey t-shirt that had been discarded on the floor nearby. Kazu followed in getting up but remained on the futon, sitting cross-legged and trying not to watch her dress. It was chilly, he realised, once his bare arms, torso and legs came out of the comforts of the duvet. He rubbed at his arms absently as he tried to recall the night before.

"D-Does that mean we…"

 _Oh God, no! I slept with the devil incarnate! Lucifer in human form!_

" _God_ no," she snarled, tucking her arms into the sleeves. "We almost did, but then you fell asleep. Thank _God_. Miracles do exist."

He'd let that blow to his ego slide, if only because he was so relieved—and utterly disoriented. How on earth was she so lucid already?

"Come on." A red polo shirt smelling faintly of peach landed clumsily into his lap. "Put your clothes on and I'll get you outta here."

After redressing into last night's clothes, Ruki slid open one of the shoji screens leading into a hallway. Kazu followed as Ruki lead him around her enormous house, arriving at the foyer through a side door and then hurrying out the front door.

They slowed down approaching the sidewalk, and Ruki stopped to take out the mail as they passed her letterbox. In their haste, they hadn't noticed the newly bloomed cherry blossom trees arching over the pathway to her house, soft pink petals sparsely fluttering past them in the spring breeze.

"Well, that's enough adventure for me this week," Kazu remarked, checking over his shoulder just in case.

Ruki gave a little smirk in response as she sifted through the envelopes, in considerably better spirits now that they've narrowly avoided crisis, _twice_.

She then stopped sifting at an envelope addressed to herself. She flipped it over. "It's from Henry."

They shared a look, and Ruki decisively ripped through the envelope, revealing a beautifully decorated card, adorned with a blue-and-red ribbon and metallic gold patterning. Thoroughly bewildered, she opened it.

"Ms Ruki Makino," she began, "because you have shared in our lives, we, Henry Lee and Alice McCoy, request the honour of your company… at our… wedding ceremony… on the…" she faltered. "…You're kidding. It's only a month from now."

Ruki had to reread it to believe her eyes, and then again some. A hasty wedding seemingly out-of-nowhere could only mean one of a few things, and to her chagrin, she had some idea.

The trees rustled, hand-in-hand with the sound of wind chimes in the distance. Sprinkles of baby pinks continued to scatter through the air around them, some brushing past the card with a soft patter.

And just as quickly as they disappeared, Hirokazu was gone.

* * *

 _To be continued_

* * *

Trivia: Shotgun weddings are fairly prevalent in Japan because of old attitudes on honour and some social stigma/regressive legal disadvantages for families with children born out of wedlock.


	6. More Than Chance

_Ruki struggles with the course of her adulthood, and learns that growing up doesn't have to mean growing apart._

* * *

 **Junctures**

Chapter VI  
 _"More Than Chance"_

Apricots and cream.

The scent was familiar and soothing to his core, calming every frenzied nerve in his body, sedating every nauseous impulse he had. It was the very scent he'd dreamt about when he wasn't awake, thought about when he was, couldn't talk about when prompted, but couldn't stop talking about in his sleep.

"Dad, you're crushing me."

Henry reluctantly peeled his arms from around his son's smaller frame, the smell of his shampoo still wafting in the air around him, and gripped him by the shoulders to take a good look at his face. Striking Eurasian features, mussed brown hair, charmingly placed freckles, with Alice's nose and chin but a gallant smile he could only have inherited from Henry.

Toma Lee-McCoy looked back curiously at his father with eyes blue-grey like old rock carved out from a glacier, mapping out lines, contours and discolouration that hadn't been there before.

Henry's eyes glossed over, never wanting to venture so far from Toma's face again.

At the door, Alice McCoy kept a lingering eye on the two while she removed her shoes, the scene mesmerising her as if she were watching the emotional climax in a stage play. Suzie stood beside her, in silent agreement herself.

She managed to tear her eyes away. "Thanks for having us over, Suzie. I know it's late; we just landed this afternoon." She flicked a strand of shoulder-length blonde from her eyes as she straightened back up, stepping her bare feet onto the carpet.

Suzie smiled, albeit rather tersely, in response. It wasn't that Suzie harboured any ill feeling towards her—she was a college sophomore when they'd married, and was smart enough to guess the circumstances without them mustering up the courage to tell her, which she knew they wouldn't, and hadn't. Alice was astute but rather clinical, as were her interactions with Suzie and her boyfriend the times that they'd spend together, finding it rather difficult to penetrate her thinly veiled sarcasm even when she knew it wasn't in malice. Henry was warmer than she, and he was open and frank, but they appeared to complement each other when they communicated, somewhat in a constant battle of wits in a speed she could only describe as stimulating. It seemed to her that they were trying to make the best of an unusual situation, even when the façade began to show its cracks with every passing year.

If she was honest, she just wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to act around this woman. Alice was her ex sister-in-law, the mother of her beloved nephew but the wife for-not-much-longer of her brother to whom she's caused so much pain. She'd previously announced that she and Toma would be moving to Ireland without discussing it with him first, after all.

In fact, they'd been in Dublin scouting the city when she'd received Suzie's call about Henry, may well having been the nail in the coffin of doubts she was already having about the move. Even though Alice had taught him some basics, Toma was struggling to adjust in an English-speaking environment and Alice herself was wondering whether this desperate clawing at her heritage was her way of coping with their separation, even though it was she who suggested it first. Truth be told, after spending almost her entire life in Japan, with her taciturn boy on her hand, she'd felt just as lost and isolated in a sea of faces that looked just like hers.

Suzie offered Alice some tea which was politely declined, before excusing herself and retreating into her room to give the three some privacy. Alice smoothed her hair back into place, a nervous habit, before she braced herself to approach her now-estranged husband.

Henry's animated gushing about the new scout badges on Toma's backpack dissipated as Alice came into his line of sight. Eyes shifted to the state of his hair to the stains on his blanket, he recognised, not in disdain, but in something more akin to pity or sadness, leaving Henry to falter and leave them in a vacuum of discomfited silence.

Turned out there were a lot of interesting shapes in the carpet.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here," she eventually said, frantic for something to distract her from the vacuous grey windows that were his eyes. "It took longer than I thought to get us a flight here and I couldn't get through to your phone. How, um, are you?"

"Good," Henry replied, deliberately curt. "Let's see, my wife and son left me, I can't work, I'm dizzy all the time and I throw up every now and then, but I'm otherwise okay. You?"

Alice heaved a sigh, all those guilty knots appearing in her stomach again. She knew why he was upset at her, and she couldn't blame him.

"Was that all you were sorry about?" Henry pressed on, his lips pursed and eyes meeting hers point blank.

"Of course not." But she didn't elaborate.

"Dad, check these out!" Toma exclaimed from his father's side on the sofa, obliviously opening up his backpack to show him all the knick-knacks he'd picked up in Dublin. Henry stripped his attention away from Alice to focus on their son, his gaze shifting from critical to gentle in one sweep. Grateful that Toma had inadvertently saved her from the potential minefield of a conversation that she hadn't at all prepared for, she settled for watching them interact, calming her nerves while she poured over what she was going to say next. Watching it unfold before her eyes, she then remembered what a charismatic father he could be.

"You're here to pity me," he then remarked, half-feigning interest in yet another garish Saint Paddy's magnet that Toma had pulled out of his bag.

"You must be out of your mind," she calmly rebuked, her even composure not matching the incredulity of her words. "I was worried about you. And I wanted to apologise."

He glanced at her, the uneven angle of his eyebrows signifying his scepticism. "Haven't heard it yet."

She tisked. "I'm getting to it."

Henry expelled a sharp breath that almost resembled a laugh. Was he… amused?

Alice found a place on the sofa and sat, nestling Toma comfortably between his parents. Her legs stretched out beside his bare feet. She berated herself for not being more sympathetic towards him in her haste to arrive at the apartment. He was suffering from a goddamn _Traumatic Brain Injury_ and all he got was a ' _how are you_ '? She lamented that she must have seemed rather heartless, soon-to-be-ex wife or not.

"I really do hope you're okay," she said, the words carefully chosen to reflect at least some degree of the concern she had for him.

"I know."

And just like the time she'd provoked him to kiss her for the second time, something came over her and the words seemed to hurtle out of her mouth all on their own. "I'm sorry I wasn't a better wife."

Henry was taken aback. "That's not what I meant when I…"

"I know, but I mean it."

"I'm sorry too."

"Please, don't apologise. You've been nothing but…" —an incredible father, a dependable friend, a wonderful companion— "…Good."

"Good," he repeated, cocking his eyebrows. Her face certainly didn't _read_ underwhelmed to him, so why had her words been?

She almost let it slip that maybe they _could_ have been the perfect spouses to each other, in another life, under different circumstances.

Maybe in that life, they might long for each other when they were both at work, and ache for each other when they were apart. In that life, maybe Alice wouldn't have had to give up an illustrious legal career to care for a child she hadn't planned on having.

Maybe in that life, they would be happy.

A hand flew to her mouth, stifling a strangled cry and Alice couldn't suppress the tears glossing over her eyes. As she squeezed them shut the tears spilled, cascading down her porcelain white cheeks.

To her own surprise, it wasn't triggered by regret over what her life could've been. "I'm sorry," she choked. "I'm an idiot. I was then too."

Henry smiled ruefully. "I think we can say we both were. I mean, look at this mess."

Alice fought to compose herself before her next words. Her eyes remained closed, stifling the tumult like a dam. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft. "I really thought we were doing the right thing."

"Yeah, I know. Me too."

It was almost comical how alike they were. Comical that they were so similar in nearly every way, and yet turning out so utterly incompatible.

"I… I wished for another life so frequently that I didn't even realise how great you were— _are_. And I—look at you like this. I can't help but feel like it's all my fault; I should've been around for you. And I know you disagree with me—even after I hurt you like that—but this is how I'm feeling and I can't just dismiss it anymore. And it was stupid of me to try and run away. Every day I look at Toma and see so much of you in him, and he talks about you and worries about you constantly. I can't keep him away from you. Not while you're like this. What kind of mother would that make me?"

"—Alice…"

"…What kind of _person_ would that make me?" she added quietly.

The tears threatened to spill again, and she hugged Toma close to her abdomen to silence herself.

A moment later, as Alice began to let go, Toma turned to Henry in all his solemnity to plant a four leaf clover-shaped magnet in his palm, closing his father's hand to curl around it like he would close a beloved old music box, before twisting around and doing the same for his mother.

"I wanna stay here," he finally said. "And take care of dad."

Alice kissed him on the top of his hair. "You will."

Henry turned to her, shock colouring his face.

"We will," she repeated.

Henry Lee, who hadn't felt elation like this for as long as he could remember, was almost moved to tears of his own. Was that a declaration to stay? There were still things to sort out, talks to be had, thoughts to be shared, regrets to be untangled… but it was far better than the alternative.

They fingered the little magnets in their palms, and they suddenly became conscious again of the smell of apricots and cream encircling them.

They'd been driven apart, not just from each other, by mistakes they'd made too large to correct, but in all the pandemonium they had forgotten that there was something bigger than all of that. Perhaps they would never get back together, but they were Toma's parents, and they would forever be intrinsically linked through the love that they both possessed for this boy.

"Henry…" she teetered, almost nervously. "You know, if I could go back, I wouldn't—"

He wiped at the remainder of her tears with his thumb. "—I know. Me too."

* * *

The rainy grey skies trundled in perfect contrast to the café's still and woody interior, casting a ghostly light on its sparsely seated patrons. It was quiet for a Sunday afternoon—perhaps because this kind of day was more suited for staying in and anticipating the rain to accompany light reading and trivial conversation. One Juri Kato welcomed the citywide scramble in perfect contentment. As she sipped at her coffee, her eyes followed the droplets migrating down the windows in good spirits; she liked the rain, and the parade of umbrellas in every colour that would float through the city whenever it did.

Her little girl, occupied with crayons and a sketchbook, sat busied beside her. Her light brown hair in short pigtails, plump legs dangling off her chair, she was the spitting image of a young Takato. Juri silently thanked the universe that she caught her in one of her rare quiet moments, wrapped up in utmost concentration to ensure her colouring stayed within the lines.

A jingle was heard from the door, followed by the trudge of squelchy boots hitting creaky floorboards. It appeared that someone had forgotten her umbrella at home, and if that hadn't appeased lady luck's cruel sense of humour today, she'd been splashed—twice—by passing cars on the walk from the train station. Moreover, she still had a weird, dull pain in her belly lingering from her post-birthday hangover. Ruki's day wasn't what one would categorise as "good".

Juri couldn't help a giggle at the exasperated redhead drenched at the entrance.

 _Keep it together, Kato. You're still furious at her!_

"Ruki, over here!" she waved. _Goddamn it._

She came over to their table, her wet bangs fanned out in stems on her forehead and damp coat slung over her arm. "…Hey, Juri," she greeted, her voice worn from grumbling—knowing Ruki—all the way over. The redhead attempted a friendlier approach as she looked to the tiny girl plastered to the table, her elbows level with her chin. "Hi, Erika. God, you're getting so big."

"Hi, Aunt Ruki!" Little Erika flip-flopped a chubby arm in her direction, grinning widely. "I'm drawin' a pict-cha."

"Cool," she said, unsure whether that was lingo a kid would respond keenly to. "Whatcha drawing?"

"Cows and bread and stuff."

Ruki looked at Juri questioningly, who shrugged. "…Cool."

Juri erupted into a laugh, taking pleasure in her visible awkwardness. She grabbed an empty chair from the nearby table for Ruki to sit in. "Rough journey?" she asked, hand gesturing to the sodden state of her.

"Ugh, you have no fu— _fudging_ clue." Ruki eyed Erika beside her, careful not to garner her attention while regretfully dripping rainwater all over the café properties. Perhaps her least favourite part about the prospect of having children would be having to alter her daily vocabulary. Luckily for her, Juri didn't incessantly shush her around the bad words as much as Takato did.

"Um, so, how's the baby?"

"Good," she replied, subconsciously rubbing her stomach as she spoke.

"…That's good." A pause drifted by, faint chatter and the jingling bell still heard in the background.

A waitress came over. "Excuse me, could I please get a…"

"…Soy latte?" the waitress announced, setting the glass and saucer on the table. Ruki, surprised by the ambush of her drink of choice, looked to Juri who winked at her. She smiled her thanks, before taking a gratified sip.

Ruki could be a stubborn creature of habit in many ways, her choice in "nice" coffee over the filter stuff (or "commoditised diarrhoea", as she'd say) unrelenting from the time when Rumiko came back from a barista course in Italy, armed with a brand new espresso machine and an arsenal of exotic artisanal blends. As much as Ruki liked to sneer at her privileged upbringing, sometimes her daughter-of-a-supermodel really showed.

Juri, on the other hand, would take her coffee black with plenty of sugar. Her schedule as a programmer didn't deviate much from her schedule as a mum; gruelling overnight grinds and the demand for the caffeine hit to be hard and fast.

So _that's_ where Juri got the energy to be the fun one, Ruki mused with a smile.

"Look…" Ruki began. "I'm really sorry. For being a huge asshole at my birthday."

Before Juri had a chance to answer, Erika gasped aloud. "You said a bad word!"

Ruki quickly turned to her. "No no, 'asshole' isn't a bad word, you see. Everyone's got one—even you," she justified with a nervous smile.

The little girl was positively aghast, " _Me_?"

Oh God, she was going to cry. Ruki put her hands up in defence, her eyes wide in panic. They darted to Juri—who was trying to suppress _laughter_!

"What's _funny_ about this!? Help me!"

"Everything!" she exclaimed between fits of laughter.

Ruki crossed her arms, unimpressed. "I'm glad this amuses you so, but I'm trying to apologise here."

She waved her hand dismissively, simultaneously rubbing her daughter's shoulders to comfort her. "Oh come on, have a sense of humour!"

As if involuntarily, the corners of her mouth began to tilt upwards.

"…I've missed you."

Juri only stared back for a second, before leaning forward to hug her over the table, nearly knocking their beverages over. "I've missed _you,_ you big baby!"

Breaking apart, they settled back into their seats, Ruki's hands still clasped in Juri's.

"I'm sorry too, you know. For not telling you about the baby," she acknowledged. "But, you've gotta understand, I've got Erika, and…"

She faltered, but Ruki knew; with another one on the way, this was the way things were always going to be.

She looked down at their hands, brushing gently at her knuckles before letting go. "So, how are things?" Ruki asked, not looking up.

"Actually, they're great!" Juri beamed. God, it must be nice being Juri, Ruki thought. "This one here starts school next year, so I'm in negotiations with work to get me back in the office full time. Hopefully it works out so Takato doesn't have to take extra shifts at the restaurant anymore. It is a pain in the _ass_ though, don't get me wrong."

Another little gasp erupted from Erika's 'O'-shaped lips. "Mama! You said—"

"Oh hush baby, here," Juri dropped the chocolate biscuit that came with her coffee in the girl's lap. "Eat it, and don't tell your daddy."

Erika's eyes lit up in a sparkle, wrapped both hands around the biscuit and lifted it to her mouth with delight. Ruki raised an eyebrow. "You bribing your kid?"

"Of course," she replied offhandedly. "So what about you? How are _things_?"

Did she mean besides her identity crisis, making an ass of herself at her birthday and then finding Henry unconscious? "Could be better."

"Is it those jerks you work with? Or are you worried about Henry?" What, could she read minds now? "Oh don't give me that look. You give yourself away more than you think."

She smirked. "Bit of both. I just…" A sigh replaced her words again, as Juri knew tended to happen. She'll just have to beat it out of her later, but for now, they opted to sip at their coffee instead. Juri's eyes carefully scaled her best friend, inhaling the nutty aroma while she drank. Ruki could be an interesting creature sometimes.

Juri prudently set her cup back on its saucer. "Takato and I wanted to open a restaurant once." Ruki looked up at her in surprise but said nothing, prompting her to continue. "We were eyeing a little ramen shop in Koenji, and we were going to do 'specialty ramen'. Takato had researched all the recipes, we'd had appointments with a solicitor and had a menu drafted and everything." She seemed to look just past Ruki as she spoke, but her gaze was far away.

When Juri snapped out of it, a sheepish smile masked it instead. "But then we got pregnant. I had to quit my job, so we started dipping into the savings we had for capital."

"…I had no idea," Ruki finally said. "I… I could've lent you the money. …You know I have it." She quietened to a whisper there, as if not wanting to admit the last detail.

"No way! We were too busy breastfeeding and getting thrown up on by _that_ point. This kid's a lot of work," she laughed, gesturing to Erika who was thoroughly tuned out and absorbed into her drawing. Juri shrugged vaguely. "Look, I mean that was five years ago… My priorities have changed, but we still kinda wish we did it sometimes."

It didn't feel like too long ago that Ruki had her own dream. For Juri and Takato, that dream had been a slow burn along a string of tinder that would eventually thin out and fade with a fizzle. Ruki, on the other hand, had felt the crushing hand of fate in one sweeping and seismic motion. Perhaps Juri and Takato had new dreams now—whether together or individually—maybe to see their children grow up well, or retire by the beach some day. Juri would, no doubt, want to someday whisk her family away and see the world, maybe check off the remaining two continents. Perhaps Takato would want to buy back and re-establish his parents' old bakery. Knowing him, maybe he just wanted to be on _Iron Chef_.

On top of it all, she had yet to think about where her own marriage fit into it. Ryo made a good living writing freelance, but he, too, had dreams. Ruki wanted to be there when he writes another book one day, and she especially wanted to be there when he writes one that's actually appreciated. He didn't say it outright—they were barely in each other's lives then—but she knew that the failure of his first book had unravelled him in a way that she could never really understand. She knew from the moment they had met over a beer for the first time in years, and he had discreetly recoiled when she'd made a joke about it. It was only then she'd really noticed that even Ryo Akiyama wasn't infallible. Perhaps it was then that she began to fall for him again.

And then there was the million dollar question: Even if she _could_ find another job at this point in her life, what on earth would she do?

She'd been arrogant.

Once upon a time, someone once told her after a fiery argument that it would be her ruin. She had rolled her eyes smugly in return then, satisfied that she'd won that argument. Now she questions whether she really did.

Ruki took a deep breath. Suddenly, she felt embarrassed, conscious of the pair of eyes on her that knew every detail of what an idiot she'd been while trying to convince herself otherwise.

"You okay?"

Juri placed a hand on top of hers. Ruki allowed herself to shake her head in response.

Almost her entire childhood, Juri had seen Ruki chase whatever it was that she wanted like a meteorite raced toward earth in a hurtling ball of fire. Much like that hurtling ball of fire, she'd make waves wherever she made herself known. It'd been like that all through everything she'd ever committed to; high school, university, job hunting, her long distance relationship—hell, even that card tournament and the futsal team she took to regionals.

She squeezed the hand that was underneath hers. "Ruki, honey, I know that this is hard for you to admit," she began. "But have you considered that this might not be the path that you're supposed to be on?"

Truth be told, Ruki didn't really believe in concepts like fate or predetermined paths. She chose her own goddamn destinies. She chose her jobs, she chose her friends, she chose her life partner. Her life was what _she_ had made it.

But then why, honest to God, was nothing aligning in the way she was willing it to?

"Shit just happens," she whispered, carefully eyeing her four-year-old. When Ruki began to protest, Juri quickly cut her off. "I know you don't give up on anything—or anyone—but some things aren't worth the torment. You can't control every outcome. You can't _win_ everything. Maybe you need to let go."

Ruki fell silent for a moment, her mouth open as if she was willing a sound to come out but nothing followed. Inexplicably, she appeared… lost, and Juri wondered whether she should say something else to comfort her.

Instead, to her surprise, she took both of Juri's hands in hers and entwined their fingers before murmuring, "I don't really know how."

Maybe she _had_ chosen her destinies; her jobs, her life partner, her friends. But coming into her life at the exact moment she would come to choose them?

Juri laughed. "You're not alone, silly."

That wasn't chance.

* * *

 _To be continued_


End file.
